Apparently I can't defend my self on Reddit.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm". Aka, I wasn't happy, but he was" I road my bike 16-32 km a day to avoid the ownership costs of a car which was the only way I could make these trips happen. The last year was an electric bike so not as much of a struggle. The US and last Swedish trip cost as much as insurance, gas, maintenance, etc. for two years. A guy stole my bike and sold it for one hit of cocaine in front of my store. They ripped the shift cable out. Store security got it back during the deal. I had to ride home that night pulling the cable as hard as I could with it wrapped around my hand to avoid first gear. Every night I was on fire, but as far as that goes, you are right I was happy because I told my self almost every night, each rotation of these peddles up the hill on this highway is another step closer to finally being together with you. You told me your guild men was only Sundays, so I was happy knowing when I finally got there I could spend time with you on other days besides Sunday. No that didn't happen. Otherwise I wasn't happy. When I moved in, you'd play ESO and talk to your guys all night. When I moved in I layed (isn't a word) there on the couch or in my? bed for hours almost every night having to listen to you and your other guys. That was very depressing. I wasn't happy with that. I can't communicate with you that way (see below). We both have powerful computers. I asked you several times if you wanted to play a game with me and you never did. But you always would with your other guys. But you did do a good job meticulously packaging the components, but thats because you had to go through remembering me in the process. I thought maybe you could use it for a while for movies or shows, and then when I paid you you'd stick it in the case box. I didn't know you'd think you'd have to go through the trouble of taking it apart. You told me we would go up to the arctic circle on a trip. You wouldn't. The only natural place we went together with out being chaperoned was dead man's edge once, you told out there my my arms were too hairy. I think walking around with half your body's skin partly scraped off is irritating, and I would never say that about your legs. I can't help that I am also Italian and French. Anyone that gets close to you, you burn them. What was that written in your room about your mum? She is trying to hurt you or cause you mental anguish? She loves you and always tries to help you, she just wants to see you happy. You need to think about it first, and then thank her and everyone else. You do have friends now, so rather than using "having no friends" to make friends instead you should acknowledge they exist like when I was sitting in the other room wondering why we don't even play a game together your game guys on the ESO section of Reddit that you play ESO because you are so lonely. Little do they know you had a bf in the other room who moved 7,200 km to be with you? How do you think I feel when I do all this and yet I don't even exist to your other guys to get more guys just so they will feel sorry for you. You set me on fire to keep your self warm with your other guys. Its like you asked a dog if it wanted to go on a walk in a nice place, you put blind folds on it, and walked it right off a cliff. Everything else made me happy, Sweden, the good people, your family. If you've ever seen the movie The Giver, you'd know what I mean by the house at the end of the movie, except its even better than that. I am so messed up I don't belong in Sweden. After the first hour of getting to Colorado at the entrance of Golden Gate Canyon you told me you will never come back again. It isn't good enough for you because the buildings are so ugly? youtu.be/3BA-_tHsUuI?t=18s Are you really that stuck up? I wouldn't want you to live somewhere you don't want to, all though it would have been nice if you gave it another chance. How much does it take to impress the queen of Sweden? I can collect real columbines, with my own hands and feel the breeze in the air. You only collect fake columbines in a video game with a bunch of guys. Good job. You really missed out on those trails, see them in the video? We were in a relationship, think about the future, you wouldn't atleast visit my home ever again? Those are the kinds of things I tried to keep looking past. What if I got there and said the buildings are too red and am never coming back after only an hour of being there? How would you feel? So since I did a bad job with us going somewhere, I wanted to make it up with somewhere you and I really want to go to like Iceland.
"Communication is key." May 2015. You told me one Sunday you couldn't be on because you were going to play ESO with your friends in a guild. That's completely fine, I want you to have friends of course. You told me it was only going to be just that Sunday. YOU LIED TO ME. Sunday was our day off together for about a year. From May 2015 to October 2015, you spent every week on our one day we had together in your game with your guys and shit all over me with petrol and lit it. That is not communication. Pick another day. If you did come on Skype. It would be 60-20 minutes before the start of the game. During our conversation frequently you'd be typing to other people. You can't even give me an hour or less a week with out talking to all your other people. During the "conversation" you were minimizing and maximizing ESO / Skype. You were also playing the game too until I said something then you'd switch back like some obligation. That made me feel like shit from May until I got there. That's not communication. Before I had weekends off, sometimes I'd rush home from work regardless of what management said just so I could see you, you wouldn't be on. If you view some monitors from the side the colors are distorted, it looked like your name was blue on Steam, I'd sit down and realize it was a mirage, false hope. I really like your apartment and its area, but you didn't even tell me you got any apartment until it happened. We were in a relationship, thats a very big decision. That is not communication.
I always have to swim threw so many other guys just to attempt communication with you. You lack communication. We are adults with adult Responsibilities, Changing countries is a drastic change in life. Imagine if your dad spent almost every night with many women, he sits in a room and tells them all he likes to be with them because he is so lonely, but he doesn't tell them he has a wife right there in the other room. Say they both had one day off together, he talks to her a little for a half hour completely uninterested, and then he spends the rest of the night with his women. WTF dude? If a man does this, everyone looks down on him except some of his buddies, but when women victimize their men in this way its ok. Its not ok. When it comes to men, we have terms for that. Its called a deadbeat, a looser. What the hell did you even want me to come there for? You are the man in this relationship. If they are just friends then pick another day other than that our day off together. Speaking of just friends, who is João? He liked every single one of your pictures on Facebook since 2010 and he plays ESO. I also had a SIM nvm. Is he the guild leader? Is he the one you wanted to spend all your time with on our days off for months? Is he the one you talk to on Skype when I was in the other room and you come to me with out me asking about it and tell me its nothing. If its nothing why do you come to me and tell me? When we were talking about how Kylo Ren didn't look like Hon and I said he looks southern European, maybe Spanish or Greek and then smiled and you were about to say something and you didn't, were you thinking of him? You told me when you were in the US it doesn't matter if I don't play ESO.
Yeah it fucking matters. You originally said you played a variety of games. You have never played one with me. The most I have sort of barely played with a someone beside my cousin in the last few years was some old game on a boat where she didn't fall off the tiger, has she played that before or something?
""Never rush feelings." We've known each other since May 19th, 2012. Its been 1,415 days.We had about a year each time in between seeing each other. How is that rushing feelings, this has been such a slow process. Infact you even told me to keep emailing them to see if I was accepted yet. Accept for what? Accepted to sit in another room listening to you rather drink beer than someone's piss as you said on ESO. In August 2014 you came to me and hugged me and told me you wanted me to move in with you. We applied for the residence permit during that month together, you continued to answer their questions after that telling them you still wanted me to come (I think) 14 months isn't a rush, except I came before if they would have ever approved me." " And it took me ages to realize that my happiness is important." It didn't take you ages to get bored with me after the US trip, it took you five months. ""The last half a year before moving in together I lost most of my romantic feelings for him." I moved in on October, half a year before moving in together was April when you were with that guy or whatever, two months before that(wow what a quick change) you said "I want to respond to this as eloquently as your message,but my mind is kind of blank. It was really nice talking to you on Skype and I'm sorry I couldn't be on Yesterday. Everday with you is kind of an important day And hopefully we can spend next Valentines Day together. " You just strung me on for the next 12 months even though you didn't want me anymore. Two months after that I spent a month planing a beautiful trip with you, I'm sorry I didn't ask you, I wanted to surprise (you don't like those) you with something nice. But the most important part was I was thinking about you, day dreaming about you in Iceland, and what the hell were you thinking about? Oh there is a guy getting emotional with me, and I am getting closer to him. What the hell was that? One month after that you started your guild, it didn't take you ages, you spent ages, six months with your other guys on our days off. You spent ages, 25+ hours a week with your other guys when I moved in. I have to sit there and listen to you and your other men for more than 25 hours a week, verbally or from your tactile keyboard, and it fills up the whole apartment. A man tells his girlfriend to move 7,200 km to him. She gets there and finds out he spends all night with a bunch of other women. WTF dude? Fucking "bachelor".
"he forgot(? decided it wasnt important enough) to let me know major details about his health." I told you perhaps too much for the first half of the time I was there. For example, remember the things I told Ms. Polsvenengelska? The site we met on, you didn't keep my messages but you still keep the other guys' messages. The only messages of mine you kept were about major details of my health when I had alcohol. Is that how you are trying to remember me? Based on two days? Yes I had alcohol the first two nights to try to adjust to the time zone. Its not like I drank every day. If a loved one drank twice, you don't hold them to that, you should be glad they stopped and continue from there. Something happened to my brain after that for a few days where I felt like I constantly needed to die even though logically I knew from the first two days I loved Bygdeå. That was a tremendous burden for you. All the bottles should be black with skull and corss bones labeled poison. It is really dangerous and effects your whole body. But when my brain started to recover, my heart became extremely painful like I was going to die, I came to you room for sense of safety to have someone by my side who might love me.www.crazynews.net/wp-content/u… But instead YOU STILL KEPT PLAYING YOUR FUCKING GAME WITH YOUR OTHER MEN! I don't need one of your guys who is a healer in a video game, I needed you in real life incase something happened I would feel safe, but even in the face of something very bad that could happen, read the caps above. Were you with your João man that night? So what if you two rode motorcycles together, and you broke your leg and you were in agonizing pain, you come to him and he just pulls out a laptop and plays with all of his women and possible replacement girlfriend. He hates to take you to the hospital because of the sound of babies. WTF? I would have gladly of taken you to the hospital, I don't care if hear a baby, I'd want help rid you of your pain. Remember online you told me you almost flew out here to see me because I fainted because of my back. That was amazingly great sounding of you. But its one thing to say something, and another to actually do something like that.When I came there, you were nothing like what you said with that. You also wrote on Reddit during the first week I was there that we lived together for three weeks and that we were having relationship problems and you wanted me leave and get my own apartment. It was the night I was severely constipated + or - a night and hadn't gone since I was in Keflavik because of the Prostatitis (see below). Later on things started to happen in my mouth (I recently got tested for STDs, we don't have any). There were a few things first which later I could read about online, but then I got a red spot with a white crescent on my oral mucosal area. Couldn't find it online. I never have experienced these things before and I thought I had cancer, you told me it couldn't be and you kept playing your game. So by then I stopped telling you things about my health because your game and other guys are more important and your just get frustrated with me when I go to the bathroom again. Why should I tell you anything about my health? In the US people can only apply for health insurance between November and January. I didn't know this before. People can get temporary insurance other months but it doesn't cover existing health conditions. I applied for medicaid but it takes up to 90 days to be approved. I am not completely sure if I will qualify. It costs 3800 kr per hour to talk to the doctor here, then I get billed in the mail for any tests or services he runs. I've been there twice so far. Each time I limited my self to a half hour then I have to stop and leave. I can only save up enough to do it once a month. So far I know I have Prostatitis, but he says I have alot more symptoms than that could be from that. We are not sure of the cause or type because I can't use the imaging equipment. Its been constant since a little before New Years. It may be chronic. The medication, Levofloxacin which costs 2500 kr for 20 doses didn't work. I tried the Alfuzosin in Sweden and it made my heart beat extremely fast and gave me such a loud ear ringing sound I couldn't hear anything while it happened. There are other issues but I will go in for those later. I won't tell you anymore. Go collect blue party hats. Do your boyfriend with a butter knife. As healthcare goes, being a citizen in my own country is comparable to being a tourist in Sweden.
"Due to us being in a LDR" "Fuck LDR, I want dis now" Yeah you never changed. The whole point of an LDR is because you want just the right person, or what you are looking for is extremely rare or takes years to find whilst squaring the whole globe not because some what ever is near by that doesn't have a brain. Sometimes the right person can be found by surprise or not directly online but the chances are extremely slim. It can be better to like someone from getting excited over doing new cool things together while exchanging ideas and debating how things work and hearing that they care rather than from a fabricated profile.
"but it would fix itself when we moved in together. It didnt." I told my self when I moved in I'd finally be able to talk to you because your guild was on Sundays . It wasn't just Sunday. Originally you lied and told me it was just one Sunday. Remember, they really need you in the game for 25+ hours a week, to accomplish fake stuff while the real things go to waste like people who do things IRL ok francis go sit faces